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Are you intentionally rude to your colleagues or do you not realize that you are being rude?
In case you fall in the “not realizing you are rude” category, take a look at the following:
Constantly interrupting colleagues translates to them that your time and ideas are top priority. You have no interest in what the other person has to say. We all do this on a rare occasion. It’s the constant interruption that is offensive.
As children, many of us were taught to say, “please” and “thank you.” Unfortunately, this important childhood lesson is lost on many adults. Employees can receive a lot of positive mileage by using words of gratitude.
Many employees are fortunate to have access to workplace snack areas. There is a reason that, in many cases, a sign is posted detailing kitchen courtesy – dirty dishes in the sink, spoiled food in the refrigerator are just a few offenses.
There is nothing objective about language. We each have our unique way of speaking. However, when it comes to using profane language in the workplace, it can be offensive to many colleagues.
The day of private offices for all employees is long gone. Some employees, however, speak as if they are in a private office or at a football game. So, as we often tell children who are yelling in the house, “use your inside voice.” For the offending colleague, “use your cubicle voice.”
Some conversations between employees are meant for only them. When an employee eavesdrops and/or enters the conversation without an invitation, the employee is being inconsiderate.
It is easy to acknowledge a colleague – say “hello”, give a smile. Yet, we know colleagues who will simply ignore others. What kind of message is sent when a colleague refuses to greet another?
Dealing with rude colleagues. Many surveys reflect that there is more rude behavior than 20 or even 10 years ago. The rising tide of workplace rudeness seems to be linked to a growing number of chronically angry workers. Also a lack of impatience and growing inconsiderate behavior may be associates with technology, which contributes to a sense of hurriedness.
Workforce rudeness can be exhausting for colleagues and costly for the organization. There is no simple explanation for the inconsiderate behavior, and there is no easy formula for avoiding the impact. However, there are some ways to better handle the situation and minimize the stress caused by rude colleagues.
Realize when it is not about you. “Rudeness” is when one person is treating another person without consideration. Sometimes rudeness is intentionally directed at one person. However, there are some people who go through life in a state of “unfocused” rudeness. They never learned good manners, and they are not sensitive to other people. Don’t waste your energy on colleagues like this. Just recognize that it is not about you and learn to just let it go.
Practice compassion. Some colleagues behave rudely when they are anxious and overwhelmed. Consider the source of their inconsiderate behavior and try to listen to them with empathy and try to see their perspective. If you must disagree, be gracious.
Get to know your colleagues. Invest your time and energy in getting to know your colleagues. Usually more tolerance and kindness is shown to people we know well. It is easier to insult strangers, for example road rage. Also, if you have friends at work, they will be a source of support, when and if you have an experience with a rude colleague.
Be contagious with your consideration. Anger and unhappiness can be contagious, but so can civility. Your positive tone can affect your workplace. Walk the talk. Pay attention to others’ needs, and frequently validate your team members.
Respond to some issues without anger. While usually the best way to deal with rudeness is to turn the other cheek, this is not always the rule when it is interrupting your ability to complete your tasks. There are some issues, such as excessive noise or cell phone interruptions, for which you can tactfully and calmly approach your colleague about how it is affecting your ability to work. Another way is to request management to allow a more general discussion about workplace standards.
Ignore the bully. The rudeness that is targeted at a specific individual can be considered bullying. In human resources circles, “a bully” describes a person who abuses victims who are unlikely to defend themselves. They use tactics, such as taunts, snubs, withholding information or setting someone up to fail. Unfortunately, bullying can be subtle, thus making it difficult for victims to convince management that bullying is happening.
There are suggestions in dealing with bullies:
Stay out of the bully’s way as much as you can, and try not to get into arguments. If you must interact with the bully, stay cool. Bullies thrive on getting reactions. Don’t make a big deal about the problem with your teammate, but discuss the situation with a trusted mentor or colleague.
Since many businesses are becoming more and more concerned about patterns of bullying behavior, take notes of your experiences. Be specific in the notes in case the situation turns into a harassment case.
Sources: Are you this rude at work? The Money Hospital, Funny Bones; ClearWaysConsulting.com
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